Clever Blog Title

Let’s just turn the racist logic around for a second:

According to racists, in order to be racist one must:

• Hate all Black people. You must never have met even one Black person that you even sorta kinda liked. You must never have smiled at any Black person, ever. Why Black people specifically? I don’t really know, but racists always seem to defend claims against racism with some version “I don’t hate Black people, my [anything ever] is Black”.

• Have no Black family. Your second cousin’s new wife is Black? Congratulations, you are officially incapable of being racist ever again.

• Be 100% white. Oh, you heard somewhere that your family might be “a little bit Native American”? Well done, it is now impossible for anything you do to ever be racist.

• Have the explicit intention of being offensive and racist when doing something offensive and racist. If you were “just joking around”, you’re home free, nobody gets to be offended about it and you are definitely not a racist.

• Actively not want equality. You must be against racial equality in all it’s forms. If you think anything except “Hell no, those colored people shouldn’t have anything. Fuck those lazy bastards!” when you hear the phrase “separate but equal” there’s no way you could be a racist.

• Be from a family that arrived in the U.S. before it became the U.S., owned slaves, went on frequent indian-killing sprees, rounded up Japanese-Americans during WWII, and never ever ever did anything to help any Person of Color, ever.

• Not be Irish or Jewish. What’s that, you’re Irish AND Jewish? You just won not-a-racist bingo, my friend.

• Consciously think of all People of Color as inherently different and less than you. If it’s subconscious or has been culturally-ingrained in you, rest assured, it’s not your responsibility to do anything about that and you are certainly not a racist.

If you do not fit all criteria on this list, you CANNOT be a racist.

(But, remember, that’s according to racists.)